Bill and Lynne Hybels had a twofold purpose in writing ‘Fit to be Tied’. First, they want to help single people choose their marriage partners wisely, to help them find a partner with whom they share what they call absolutely crucial compatibilities. Second, they want to help married people stay married. The two pronged plan is first working through the lesser incompatibilities that interfere with peace and mutual satisfaction, and second, learning healthy patterns of living and relating on a daily basis.
The book is split into two parts, with each part split into a number of chapters dealing with the topic. Part One: On the way to Marriage starts out by exposing the marriage myths. Probably the most widely believed of all the marriage myths is this one: ‘Marriage will ensure my happiness’. Marriage does not produce life or character transformations. Such changes are only produced by the inner work of the Holy Spirit, which is not dependent on ones marital status. Very few people actually consider singleness as an acceptable option, let alone an example of abundant living. However Gods promises of joy, peace and satisfaction are not made just to married people, He offers that to anyone – married or unmarried – who has a relationship with Him.
Part One continues with spiritual compatibility, which ensures that marriage partners will share a common treasure and build their marriage from a common blueprint. Character, phone bills and Chemistry teaches those who are thinking about marriage to go through a careful premarital checklist that starts with spiritual compatibility, and beyond, to respecting the other person on the merits of his or her character.
Bill and Lynne Hybels finish part one with Time: the Acid Test. Short courtships require impulsive decisions about lifetime commitments. Take the time test, go slow, only time can reveal the difference between infatuation and lasting love.
Part Two: Marriage that Lasts starts off with a suggestion to explore both family backgrounds, as differences are bound to pop up and husband and wife will not necessarily deal with them in the same way. Chapters on Preparing for Conflict and Resolving Temperament Tensions teach that both spouses need to have spirit of reconciliation – a willingness to admit mistakes and work to a solution. Planning Peace Talks is an excellent example of the text “do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (Eph 4:26), and causes spouses to deal with issues before they become a major problem.
Remembering Romance and Fanning the Flames of Marriage are also important steps to keeping marriage alive. Often dates, special moments, special gifts die down as spouses get complacent, careless, thoughtless and matter of fact about their relationship.
Fit to be Tied presents helpful guidelines with real-life scenarios and solutions to show you how to prepare for and avoid potential problems, communicate effectively, argue fairly, and Stay together when Life is Tearing you apart to enjoy a lifetime of togetherness.
